AREA MAN BUYS MUSCLE CAR

Kingston, Ontario Canada.

John Jamieson, 54, a local Pharmacist, in an attempt to differentiate himself from the scores of women and men of his demographic, has purchased a modern North American muscle car. In his own words, he performed the visual and aesthetic upgrades to show that he is “way cooler than you might expect”. A plastic faux-metal chain frame around front and rear license plates, thin “yet tasteful” professionally applied flame appliques and a local hockey team “bobble head” complete the maneuver.

“I don’t really watch hockey, or any sports really, but hey, go team!” he said as his wife of twenty years, Vera, shook her head, pointed and snorted at the small figure on his dashboard as it nodded in her direction. “I just thought I should pimp my ride a bit” he reports (to visible eye rolling of Vera), “you know, after our lead cashier Norma bought a hot pink one, I had to up the ante!”

John’s wife and three daughters declined to be interviewed for this report however they did laugh uproariously when asked “is this a mid-life crisis thing or just a guy being a guy?” as he modelled his new leather jacket.

Update: John has ordered a new vanity plate.  “TUF GUY”.

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