Weekly Update the Second – Timberjack, Golf Sucks and Stop Being A PhotoClown

It’s been a whole week! Or has it.  Maybe not. I’ll forget these if I wait till Friday. Enjoy.

Oh I got side tracked.. Side tracked. One word. Now you get two posts. This was supposed to be up June 16.

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Timberjack

 

Driving in the car the other day with my family and it hit me, “why do people say lumber and timber interchangeably?”. I asked my long suffering spousal unit and she promptly found a website that provides the difference between two similar words.  Apparently, Timber is fallen tree stuff ready to be cut up into Lumber.  There are regionalizations, for example people in Australia (gurus of proper language that they are) refer to lumber as timber.  I think English people do too but they don’t even have trees except ornamental ones that grow spaghetti so their opinions on word use do not count.  Hell they call arugula “Rocket” because French people call it Roquette and they can’t POSSIBLY pronounce something foreign correctly. They also call a zucchini a “vegetable marrow” which is disgusting and dumb. Anyways.  A Lumberjack is a person who cuts down trees for use as lumber but the trees they cut down are not made into lumber until they are hewn at a factory or sorts.. Therefore a Lumberjack using common word use is in fact a TIMBERJACK.  That is all.

Golf

golf-cart

THANKFULLY a golf tournament I attend annually has been cancelled.  It’s free.  Free as in free round of golf, free cart, free meal, one free drink (boozy drink).  I like free.  I used to like golf.  I don’t like golf anymore.  Now I don’t have to golf at all.

Don’t get me wrong, like darts, pool, lawn darts, beanbag toss, horseshoes, dwarf tossing, golf is an at times fun “game”.  It’s not a sport because to me, regardless of the fact you can win money at it and people keep score, it’s based on accuracy and skill not “fitness” so to me it’s just a game.  I like games, I do, don’t get me wrong (again) but to me a game is something you do for fun and riding around with one friend, two strangers, in a small car, hitting a ball, swearing, swatting bugs, watching old men flirt with uni age cart girls, getting sunburnt/stroked then when it’s all over and you want to go home you still hang around the place for drinks and speeches.. That’s a chore.

Plus, when I was a kid golf was cheaper.

Plus when I was a kid, golf had dress codes.

Plus when I was a kid golf courses were less busy.

Plus when I was kid, everyone and their drunken dog didn’t golf.

I have other hobbies and sports to do.  Golf you are dead to me.

Photoclown

clown_crime

Everyone that buys a monster lensed big frigging camera nowadays calls themselves a photographer.  That bugs me.  A friend who DOES this, and does slide a stupid “Photography by Ted Smith. Not for commercial use, copy-write 2017” (not his real name) on his pictures says to me “well, you’re a writer..”. I then remind him I may have written a few books but its not my job and I NEVER call myself a writer.  I also paint pictures in acrylics.  Some people like them. I do not call myself an artist. Sorry but unless you make a living at it, it’s a hobby.  You can make balloon animals, hang out at kids birthday parties and wear lots of makeup. That doesn’t make you a clown.  (Okay it could make you an alcoholic mom who is a bit of clown (pass the wine)..) Speaking of parties, a few years back, an in law invited their cousin to a family xmas gathering.  Small home. Small livingroom.  This person (not related to anyone else in the room) stormed around phot documenting he event with a giant SLR digital taking unplanned action shots of kids opening gifts, me generally avoiding them, people talking.  A full 70% of attendees wanted to kill them. Don’t do this.

That’s all I have.

So in summary:

  • Go ahead buy that nice camera, I would, I wish I had one that was better
  • Putting your name on the photo (especially in script font) is lame
  • Using a HUGE oversized lens when taking photos of anything mundane within 50 feet of you is lame
  • Calling yourself something you are not is lame
  • Toting a huge shoulder bag of lenses and such to a family event makes you target for a punching or at least verbal abuse.
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