Promo for my new podcast “It’s Not Me, It’s You!”

It’s Not Me, It’s You!



Sitting in a restaurant. Patiently awaiting food. Tedious loud attention-whore mom beside me is making a point of pronouncing every single name of every single country, person and object in her boring “I’m so worldly” conversation with captive audience the way the people of the country of origin do.  If ever I wanted to risk jail to punch a stranger. It was now.

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How to do Things, Lesson 1: Break into a secure building

Stand beside security door, wearing new polo shirt and khakis.
Pretend to speak to Important Person about security issues.
Ignore people.
When some mindless gump exists building, drop to tie shoe as you talk on phone.
Place rock (small, 1 inch max) inside door frame before door shuts.
Stand.  Keep “talking” on phone.
Open door when clear. Kick rock away as you do.
Commit malevolence.

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Dear Anti-Tiger Woods People

I don’t care if he slept with three thousand women, a donkey and a 1987 Volvo wagon. He is an admirable athlete. If Nike sponsors him, they are sponsoring his athleticism, not his wang. Please go elsewhere with your self righteous blah blah blah because personally I don’t care what you think. I’m going to go buy a new Nike tshirt for the gym.


And two pair of pants



Roadside Memorials

Discussed this today with my wife as we passed yet another plastic bunch of flowers and a homemade cross at the side of the road.  Why do people do this? Maybe I, we (I’m dragging her into it as.well) am/are evil or sociopaths, but if someone hung themself, you wouldn’t put a plaque up on the branch… If someone had a heart attack in bed you wouldn’t memorialize the pillows. What happened with flowers on a grave where the corpse lies patiently awaiting the zombie apocalypse and a poorly written, over-glowing review of their life (“everyone loved him!!!”) In the paper?

When will it end? If there is a mid air collision will we have geosynchronous hot air balloons marking the spot? Will water in which a person has been eaten by a shark collected, frozen and put on display?

I don’t get humans.


Sorry Geek Dad but this just goes to show you that humans are silly pack animals. Of course we are happiest if we grow up with plenty of social connections but hate to tell you that says nothing about geek lifestyle. I fact, those if us who are geeks grow up with less social connections because we are fewer in numbers than the plentitudes who go en-masse to football games and pep rallies. And no, no matter how cool being smart and geeky is nowadays, band geeks are still laughed at by everyone, including true, academic geeks.

silly study