My Get Rich Quick Scheme

A holiday resort like in Dirty Dancing. In Canada. I cottage country half way from Ottawa to Toronto. Off a main highway.

Hazing (the fun, legal kind)
Required 1950s era dress code.
No WiFi
Cell phone jamming technology
No kids except on certain weekends
Pre planned social activities
Only ancient 1950s vintage exercise equipment and spa
No modern music, radios or televisions
Streamed vintage music
An escape from modernity

Just sayin’

It’s my plan…

Posted from WordPress for Android by that guy that runs the place, Sean.

Silver Gulch

“Well”, the tall thin man in the black hat said up into the sky above the saloon, not making eye contact with anyone in particular. He paused dramatically and with a flourish, spit into a nearby wooden water trough. “Some folks hereabouts say yer horse is fat.” He finally made eye contact with the short fat man in the paisley waistcoat and dusty grey, or brown, you couldn’t tell really tell, dented bowler. Bowler man stammered, stuttered, huffed and puffed as the thin man smiled to himself and resumed cloud-watching.

When he finally walked away three steps, turned and walked back two, bowler man’s face was shiny and red as a beet. He pointed his finger at the face of the man who offended his horse and previously questioned the honor of his wife as well as blasphemed the holy trinity. “You best take those words back else I’ll… I’ll…”

“you’ll go tell the sheriff that I hurt yer feelins? Git’ little man. I’ve had enough of you.” He didn’t even grace Bowler with a look. He slid a dark cheroot from inside his non-paisley leather vest and lit it with a match that he seemed to pull out of thin air.

Bowler stormed off into the nearby saloon as the small crowd of onlookers laughed aloud, a few brave souls actually patting the mysterious man who told off the crooked loan man in his shoulders with a few “you told him”s and similar gratuitous phrases.

Shrugging off the congratulators with a look, Dan, that being his name, pushed himself away from his leaning spot with a barely perceptible back motion and proceeded to walk toward the saloon. The doors, knee to chest high and swinging ever so slightly in the warm dusty breeze, opened with a creek as he entered. Piano playing stopped, card games ceased and chippies ran to the top railing of the upper floor balcony as he strode to the bar.

The man in the bowtie behind the bar who Dan assumed to be the official bartender continued to nervously wipe and re-wipe the inside of the glass. The piano player continued to not play the piano and pretended to look for something within his stack of sheet music… Tension filled the air.

Dan’s earpiece came to life and a blue light flickered within to the amazement of a poker player up his left. “..times up D’man. I fixed the navcom, stop fucking up the locals.”

Dan touched his earpiece with a sigh. “Frig. Fine. On my way..” he smiled, reached into his pocket pulling out a copy of Jervis Guide To The Civil War and tossing it to the barkeep. “you can read, right?” turned and left the way he came in.

“Didn’t knock up some celebrity’s great great grandma did you?” the voice in his ear chuckled as a ship appeared in the sky over the small Arizona town.

“Nothing so boring Milt, not worth the effort.”

The ship lowered a ladder as it approached the ground. Dan gave a small wave to Bowler as he climbed into the belly of the ridiculously shiny orb.

Last Day on Disney Magic


So sad to leave.. spent the day packing and filling in time. Lunch however was the BEST LUNCH EVER.. Odd crabs I had never eater, shrimp, lobster, fish. I had never before or since had such an amazing lunch.

Next day, woke early to watch chip dock in NYC.  Drive home uneventful.  Stopped at the Skydeck and oddly saw a HUGE private yacht in the 1000 Islands.  It was Roman Abromovich.

Amazing Vacation ended.

Another around the corner.

Summary to follow, as well as a susprise horror story I have been working on in a week.  Its Lovecraftian!

Second Last Day of Cruise :(



















The second last day of the cruise.  Starting to want to be home.  Then a STORM brewed.. It was amazing.  Sea was calm and still.  Shop came to a stop.  Wall of cloud, black against the starry sky roiled toward the bow of the ship… Karen and I went up as high as we could, as forward as allowed to watch it come in.. when it hit the antenna sizzled with static energy and the wind was wild.. It was something I always wanted to see, a front at sea, and I was in the midst of it.  Amazing and fun and frightening all at once.

In Which We Finally Get to the Magical Kingdom!

I lost my watch and my sunglasses and my Disneyland virginity… can I say that without being arrested?  Can I say that without the ghost of Walt ripping off my lip hair and crushing my skull in my sleep?  I think I can, because it is in fact, scientifically proven, the happiest place on earth.  Nobody is ever made unhappy with regard to anything connected to Disney unless they are lying.

Yay Disney!